英语笑话大全

One day his friend asked him, “Why do people go hither and thither in all directions at dawn?”
一天，朋友问他：“为什么天一亮人们就纷纷向不同的方向走去？”

一年级学生问妈妈，为什么爸爸每天晚上带回家一个装满文件的公文包。妈妈回答说：“爸爸要做的事情太多，在办公室做不完，所以只好晚上加班。”

Little George was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.
有一天，小乔治在哭，他爸爸问他为什么哭。

你猜他看到了什么？他看到地板上放着一幅美丽的抽象画。约瑟夫给博物馆馆长看这幅画。馆长问了他几个问题。“你是在哪里找到这个的？”

My battery commander and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance sergeant in our artillery unit.
我和炮兵连连长一同对火炮侦察员的候选人进行审查。

威廉可以称得上是世界上最乐观的人了。在一次洪水中，他坐在自己家的屋顶上，看着洪水从脚下流过。这时，他的邻居坐在自己家的小船里向他划了过来。

A famous writer was traveling in a train with two very talkative women.
一个著名作家和两个健谈的女人同坐一列火车。

Without much ado, the sergeant got in and then said, “Do you want to sleep single or
married?” 
军士干脆地上了床，说：“你想按已婚方式还是按单身方式睡？”

一天，一位大学心理学教授在他新教的班上问：“你们中有谁认为自己很蠢，请站起来好吗？”

A young businessman had just started his own firm.
一个年轻的生意人刚开办了一家公司。

“Married!” said a meek voice in the crowd.
“结过婚的！”人群中一个温顺的声音说。

A speaker was giving a speech on the difference between man and woman. He said, “Man is like the thumb, and woman is like the little finger…”
一位演讲者正在做男女有别的演讲。他说：“男人像大拇指，女人像小拇指⋯⋯”