英语笑话大全

Teacher: I hope didn’t see you looking at someone else’s paper, Jack.
教师：杰克，我希望我刚才没看见你偷看别人的试卷。

Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet.
牙医：请你不要再嚎叫了！我还没碰你的牙呢。

“Ask your mother,” came the reply. “She puts everything away.”
“问你妈妈去，”他回答道，“她把东西都收起来了。

Two friends were out hunting and one was always bragging about what a good shot he was.
两个朋友外出打猎，其中一个总是夸耀自己的好枪法。

An American touring in the Sahara was dressed in a bathing suit. An Arabian gazed at him in amazement.
一位美国游客正身着泳装在撒哈拉沙漠观光。一个阿拉伯人惊奇地看着他。

Mother: Why were you kept after school today, Johnny?
妈妈：今天放学后你为什么要被留下来，约翰尼？

“她管她的那只狗和她丈夫都叫同一个昵称，肯定会经常造成混乱的。”

什么！又要买一件新衣服？你有没有想过我去哪儿弄钱给你买衣服呢？

“How did you stop your husband staying late at the club?”
“你是怎么阻止你丈夫在俱乐部呆到很晚的？”

Husband (angrily): What! No supper ready? This is the limit! I’m going to a restaurant.
丈夫（生气中）：什么！晚饭还没准备好吗？这是极限了！我要去餐馆吃饭。

“My mother is such an alarmist!” complained the teenager.
“我妈妈真是个危言耸听的人！”这名少年抱怨道。

“That’s what I’ve been doing,”said Billy. “I take the sled doing downhill, and he takes it going up.”
“我一直就是这么做的，”比利说， “我拉雪橇下坡，他拉雪橇上坡。”