英文之旅

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me . . .
当我父母离婚时，本有一场关于我的监护权之争……

A little girl asks her mother, “How did the human race appear?”
小女孩问妈妈：“人类是怎么出现的？” 

A guy calls 911 in a panic. “My wife is having a baby! Her contractions are only one minute apart!”
一个人惊慌失措地拨打了911，说：”我妻子要生孩子了！她的宫缩间隔只有一分钟！”

A dad was trying to teach his kid about the evils of drinking. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey.
一位父亲试图教他的孩子喝酒的坏处。 他把一只虫子放在一杯水里，并把另一只虫子放在一杯威士忌里。

A man in the grocery store notices a woman with a three-year-old girl in her cart.
杂货店里的一个男人注意到一个女人，她的手推车里有一个三岁的女孩。