英语笑话大全

A famous writer was traveling in a train with two very talkative women.
一个著名作家和两个健谈的女人同坐一列火车。

Without much ado, the sergeant got in and then said, “Do you want to sleep single or
married?” 
军士干脆地上了床，说：“你想按已婚方式还是按单身方式睡？”

一天，一位大学心理学教授在他新教的班上问：“你们中有谁认为自己很蠢，请站起来好吗？”

A young businessman had just started his own firm.
一个年轻的生意人刚开办了一家公司。

“Married!” said a meek voice in the crowd.
“结过婚的！”人群中一个温顺的声音说。

A speaker was giving a speech on the difference between man and woman. He said, “Man is like the thumb, and woman is like the little finger…”
一位演讲者正在做男女有别的演讲。他说：“男人像大拇指，女人像小拇指⋯⋯”

理查德不太聪明，所以好多人都拿他开心。在一个漆黑的夜晚，男孩们让他顺着手电筒的光柱往上爬。

The pedestrian called out, “Where are you now?” He meant to ask his friend’s address.
步行者大声问道：“你现在在哪里？”他是想问朋友的住址。

A: Mr. Brown died yesterday, are you going to attend his funeral?
甲：布朗先生昨天去世了，你去参加他的葬礼吗？

“Dear me, how could a woman be so ugly?”
“天呐，天下竟有这样丑的女人！”

“But, madam, let me…” began the man.
“可是，太太，让我⋯⋯”老人开口说道。

The following Sunday he began by looking around the people in the church and asking which of them had read the seventeenth chapter of St. Mark.
下一个礼拜天，一开始他就环顾教堂里所有的信徒，问他们中间哪些人读了《马可福音》第17 章。