英语笑话大全

Mother: Well, son, what’s your place on the school-list this month?
母亲：好吧，儿子，我问你，这个月你的学习成绩在班上是第几名？

He ran quickly to the house shouting, “Granny, come quick! One of you chickens is in bloom!”
他马上向屋子跑去，一边跑一边喊：“奶奶，快来！你的一只鸡开花了！”

The question was: When it thunders why do you see the lightning first, then hear the thunder rolls?
这个问题是：为什么打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电，后听到雷声？

Andersen led a very simple life. He always wore the same old hat whenever he went out.
安徒生生活简朴，无论什么时候他出门都戴着同一顶旧帽子。

Amazed, the bureaucrat asked, “How did you know?”
当官的一愣，问道：“你是怎么猜到的？”

“Oh, didn’ t you find it, madam?” the girl asked her.
“噢，你没找到厕所吗，夫人？”女孩问她。

Tom and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard.
汤姆和父亲在乡间散步，这时天突然下起了大雨。

A farmer saw an old man he knew planting something on the other side of the river.
一个农民看到他认识的一位老人正在对岸种什么东西。

“You’ll have to take care of the baby today,” a woman told her husband, I’m not feeling well.”
“今天你得照看孩子，”女人对丈夫说，“我今天不舒服。”

“Apple pie. Have a bite?” said the sentry, good-naturedly.
哨兵和气地说：“苹果馅饼，来一口怎么样？”

The man put out his tongue and the doctor looked at it quickly.
那人伸出舌头，医生很快地看了看。

Bobby: Dad, I’m too tired to do my homework.
博比：爸爸，我太累了，不想做功课。