英语笑话

A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her grand-daughter.
一个非常和蔼的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。

Whilst he was away Paddy's young life was cut short by an unfortunate adventure with a motor.
他不在家的时候，帕蒂在一次不幸的车祸中失去了年轻的生命。

The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen.
孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。

One evening, in the midst of dinner preparation, our 10-year-old daughter asked, “Mommy, what's puberty?”
一天晚上，在准备晚饭的时候，我们十岁的女儿问：“妈妈，什么是青春期？”

"Will you give me a stamp, daddy? I want to write and tell brother Tom."
“爸爸，你能不能给我一张邮票？我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”

The three wise men visit Joseph and Mary in the stable to see the newborn son.
三位智者在马厩里拜访约瑟夫和玛丽，来看望他们刚出生的儿子。

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me . . .
当我父母离婚时，本有一场关于我的监护权之争……

A little girl asks her mother, “How did the human race appear?”
小女孩问妈妈：“人类是怎么出现的？” 

A guy calls 911 in a panic. “My wife is having a baby! Her contractions are only one minute apart!”
一个人惊慌失措地拨打了911，说：”我妻子要生孩子了！她的宫缩间隔只有一分钟！”

A dad was trying to teach his kid about the evils of drinking. He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey.
一位父亲试图教他的孩子喝酒的坏处。 他把一只虫子放在一杯水里，并把另一只虫子放在一杯威士忌里。

A man in the grocery store notices a woman with a three-year-old girl in her cart.
杂货店里的一个男人注意到一个女人，她的手推车里有一个三岁的女孩。

I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet.
我的钱包里总是放着我妻子和孩子的照片。