英语笑话大全

“你患了非常罕见的、极其严重的传染病，”医生对病人说，“我们打算把你送到一间隔离病房，你在那里要以煎饼和比萨饼为食。”

“You know, Mitch, whenever the wife and I get into an argument, she gets historical.”
“你知道，米奇，无论我和妻子何时发生争吵，她都能 historical （历史的）。”

A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing.
一对正在公园里散步的夫妇看到一对年轻男女坐在长椅上激情狂吻。

A novice lion tamer was being interviewed.
一个新来的驯狮手正在接受采访。

A tough Marine sergeant got word that the grandfather of one of his men had died.
一个粗鲁的陆战队中士接到命令说他的一名士兵的祖父去世了。

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer.
一名配镜师正在指导一个新来的职员怎样向顾客收费。

A preacher was asked to give a talk at a local women’s health symposium. His wife asked about his topic, but he was too embarrassed to admit that he had been asked to speak about sex.
一个牧师应邀到当地的妇女卫生会议上发表讲话。妻子问他讲什么，但他感到尴尬无法承认他要说的是性方面的问题。

The inmate was aware that all prison mail passes through censors.
那个囚犯认识到监狱的所有邮件都要经过狱卒的手。

Two couples, who’ve played cards every month for years, are taking a break from their game.
有两对夫妇每个月都要在一块打牌，已经有好几年了，现在他们正在中场休息一下。

“This guy came by trying to sell me a talking dog for $10,” related the bartender.
“这个人过来想设法把一条会说话的狗10 美元卖给我，”酒吧招待叙述说。