英语笑话大全

Two couples, who’ve played cards every month for years, are taking a break from their game.
有两对夫妇每个月都要在一块打牌，已经有好几年了，现在他们正在中场休息一下。

“This guy came by trying to sell me a talking dog for $10,” related the bartender.
“这个人过来想设法把一条会说话的狗10 美元卖给我，”酒吧招待叙述说。

“Here’s the scenario,” the instructor announced to his class of novice truck drivers.
“设想有这样一种情况，”指导老师对班里的卡车司机新手大声说道。

“That’s marvelous, having a lion and a monkey in the same cage,”said the visitor to a small zoo. “How do they get along?”
“让猴子和狮子呆在同一只笼里真是奇迹，”游客对一家小动物园说，“它们是怎么相处的呢？”

The doctor told Uncle Fudd that if he ran five miles a day for 300 days, he would lose 75 pounds.
医生告诉法德叔叔说，如果一天跑5 英里跑上300 天，他就可以减肥75 磅。

Two men who lived in a small village got into a terrible dispute that they could not solve. So they decided to talk to the town sage.
住在一个小村里的两个人发生了严重的争执，他们谁也无法解决，于是决定去找镇里的长老。

Next morning, a beautiful woman in a skintight exercise suit knocked on the man’s door.
第二天早上，一个穿着紧身运动衣的美女敲响了那个人的房门。

“Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?” his friend suggested.
“你何不给你的生活加一点情节，搞点婚外恋呢？”唐建议说。

She answered the phone to hear a repentant voice.
她接电话时听到一个忏悔的声音说：

My arm started to hurt me and I asked the doctor to examine it.
我的胳膊开始疼，便让医生诊断一下。

Driving down a winding country road, a man came upon a youth running hard, three huge dogs snarling at his heels.
一个人驱车沿着一条弯曲的乡间公路向前行驶，突然看到一个年轻人拼命奔跑，三只大狗追着他的脚后跟狂叫着。

A teacher was asking a student a lot of questions, but the student couldn’t answer any of them.
老师问了一个学生很多问题，但这个学生却一个也答不上来。