英语笑话大全

Three pastors got together for coffee one day and found all their churches had bat-infestation problems.
有一天，三个牧师去喝咖啡，发现他们的教堂都有被蝙蝠困扰的问题。

一个女人对医生诉苦说她的丈夫缺乏激情。
A woman complained to the doctor about her husband’s lack of passion.

Arriving at a dude ranch, Johnny exclaimed, “ Mom, look at them bow-legged cowboys!”
抵达一个度假农场，约翰尼大声说道：“妈妈，你看他们那些罗圈腿牛仔！”

“We have a skunk in the basement, ” shrieked the caller to the police.“ How can we get it out?”
“我们的地下室有一只臭鼬，”打电话者对警察尖声叫道，“我们怎么才能把它弄出来呢？”

That’s the limit. Eight hours’ wait for a small vodka. I’m going to Moscow to finish off Yeltsin.
我受够了。等8 小时买一小瓶伏特加。我要去莫斯科干掉叶利钦。

Mr. Burn told his family doctor he wanted a vasectomy.
伯恩先生对他的家庭医生说他要做结扎手术。

Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted.
弗林德斯太太决定让人给她画一张像。

Two Hollywood show-biz kids got into a heated argument.
两个好莱坞娱乐界的孩子发生了激烈争吵。

When a mine operator found that his office safe had jammed, he called the nearby state prison and asked whether any of the inmates might know how to open it.
一名矿主发现办公室的保险箱卡住了，就给附近的监狱打去电话，问里边的人是否知道怎样打开保险箱。

The man thought for a moment.“ What are peers?”he asked.
那人想了一会儿，问道：“什么是地位相等的人？”

Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of“the one that got away.”
西蒙是个顽固不化的渔夫，他常常以夸口“跑掉的那条鱼”有多么多么大而远近闻名。

A shipwrecked sailor is stranded alone on an island. Amazingly, a world-famous supermodel becomes shipwrecked on the same island. The two grow to be friends and, eventually, lovers.
一名遇难的船员被孤零零地搁浅在一座岛上。令他惊喜的是，一位世界著名的超级模特乘坐的船也在同一个岛上遇难。慢慢地，两人成了好朋友，最终成了恋人。