英语笑话大全

A young woman brought her fiance home to meet her parents.
一个年轻女人将未婚夫领到家里见她的父母亲。

Three friends arrive at the Pearly Gates at the same time. As part of their orientation to heaven, St. Peter asks what kind of remarks they would most like to hear from their family and friends at their
funerals.
三个朋友同时到达了天国门，圣彼得问在他们的葬礼上最想听到家人和朋友说什么话。

Burglars broke into a bank and found a lone teller trying to balance his books.
盗贼闯进一家银行，发现孤零零就一名出纳正在那里算账。

“Who do you think you are to touch me in that way?” the woman said angrily.
“你以为你是谁呀这样摸我？”那个女人生气地说。

Sherlock Holmes and Waston were camping in the forest. They had gone to bed and were lying beneath the night sky.
夏洛克·福尔摩斯和华生在森林里野营。他们已经上床睡觉，躺在夜空下。

My daughter enlisted in the army after one year of college.
我女儿上了一年大学后报名参军。

Sheldon: I understand that you have been going to a psychiatrist. Do you think it’s helped you?
谢尔登：我听说你已经去看过精神病医生，你觉得对你有帮助吗？

When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur’s hat and settled into the back now.
当他们到达礼堂时，科学家戴上司机的帽子，坐到了后排。

由于开车闯红灯而上了法庭，我对法官说，我是一名小学老师，我的案件需要马上审理，这样我就可以回去上课了。

“You’d better marry Bertie Brown,” advised the fond father.
“你最好跟伯蒂· 布朗结婚。”慈爱的父亲劝道。

“That wasn’t very nice,” the priest said, “but
you put yourself at risk.”
“这样做，不是很好，”牧师说，“但你让自己冒了生命危险。”

During an exhibit at a museum, a modern artist was explaining his work.
在一家博物馆的一次展览中，一名现代派画家正在解释他的作品。