英语笑话大全

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer.
一名配镜师正在指导一个新来的职员怎样向顾客收费。

A preacher was asked to give a talk at a local women’s health symposium. His wife asked about his topic, but he was too embarrassed to admit that he had been asked to speak about sex.
一个牧师应邀到当地的妇女卫生会议上发表讲话。妻子问他讲什么，但他感到尴尬无法承认他要说的是性方面的问题。

The inmate was aware that all prison mail passes through censors.
那个囚犯认识到监狱的所有邮件都要经过狱卒的手。

Two couples, who’ve played cards every month for years, are taking a break from their game.
有两对夫妇每个月都要在一块打牌，已经有好几年了，现在他们正在中场休息一下。

“This guy came by trying to sell me a talking dog for $10,” related the bartender.
“这个人过来想设法把一条会说话的狗10 美元卖给我，”酒吧招待叙述说。

“Here’s the scenario,” the instructor announced to his class of novice truck drivers.
“设想有这样一种情况，”指导老师对班里的卡车司机新手大声说道。

“That’s marvelous, having a lion and a monkey in the same cage,”said the visitor to a small zoo. “How do they get along?”
“让猴子和狮子呆在同一只笼里真是奇迹，”游客对一家小动物园说，“它们是怎么相处的呢？”

The doctor told Uncle Fudd that if he ran five miles a day for 300 days, he would lose 75 pounds.
医生告诉法德叔叔说，如果一天跑5 英里跑上300 天，他就可以减肥75 磅。

Two men who lived in a small village got into a terrible dispute that they could not solve. So they decided to talk to the town sage.
住在一个小村里的两个人发生了严重的争执，他们谁也无法解决，于是决定去找镇里的长老。

Next morning, a beautiful woman in a skintight exercise suit knocked on the man’s door.
第二天早上，一个穿着紧身运动衣的美女敲响了那个人的房门。

“Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?” his friend suggested.
“你何不给你的生活加一点情节，搞点婚外恋呢？”唐建议说。

She answered the phone to hear a repentant voice.
她接电话时听到一个忏悔的声音说：