英语笑话大全

My arm started to hurt me and I asked the doctor to examine it.
我的胳膊开始疼，便让医生诊断一下。

Driving down a winding country road, a man came upon a youth running hard, three huge dogs snarling at his heels.
一个人驱车沿着一条弯曲的乡间公路向前行驶，突然看到一个年轻人拼命奔跑，三只大狗追着他的脚后跟狂叫着。

A teacher was asking a student a lot of questions, but the student couldn’t answer any of them.
老师问了一个学生很多问题，但这个学生却一个也答不上来。

Three pastors got together for coffee one day and found all their churches had bat-infestation problems.
有一天，三个牧师去喝咖啡，发现他们的教堂都有被蝙蝠困扰的问题。

一个女人对医生诉苦说她的丈夫缺乏激情。
A woman complained to the doctor about her husband’s lack of passion.

Arriving at a dude ranch, Johnny exclaimed, “ Mom, look at them bow-legged cowboys!”
抵达一个度假农场，约翰尼大声说道：“妈妈，你看他们那些罗圈腿牛仔！”

“We have a skunk in the basement, ” shrieked the caller to the police.“ How can we get it out?”
“我们的地下室有一只臭鼬，”打电话者对警察尖声叫道，“我们怎么才能把它弄出来呢？”

That’s the limit. Eight hours’ wait for a small vodka. I’m going to Moscow to finish off Yeltsin.
我受够了。等8 小时买一小瓶伏特加。我要去莫斯科干掉叶利钦。

Mr. Burn told his family doctor he wanted a vasectomy.
伯恩先生对他的家庭医生说他要做结扎手术。

Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted.
弗林德斯太太决定让人给她画一张像。

Two Hollywood show-biz kids got into a heated argument.
两个好莱坞娱乐界的孩子发生了激烈争吵。

When a mine operator found that his office safe had jammed, he called the nearby state prison and asked whether any of the inmates might know how to open it.
一名矿主发现办公室的保险箱卡住了，就给附近的监狱打去电话，问里边的人是否知道怎样打开保险箱。